As my time at The Meadows Ranch wound down, I set up my aftercare and put everything I had into not going back. But again, I kept at it, and I tried to do the next best thing. I got annoyed and frustrated with myself because I was stuck in this circle of hell and I felt that there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

I could only make it so far in recovery before I relapsed. One day, the theme in group therapy was Next Steps. So, I ended up back at The Meadows Ranch again. My health insurance had labeled me “chronic.” I felt like there was no hope. I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, which began to serve as a cover for my eating disorder behaviors. Then, just as I had reached a comfortable spot in recovery, I was thrown a curveball. I was eventually discharged again after another prolonged stay and finally made it home. I didn’t believe there was light at the end of the tunnel. The problem, for me, was that I didn’t know why I was still clinging to my eating disorder like a life preserver. While sitting in a group therapy session one day, the therapist started talking about life after an eating disorder and finally letting go. I felt like the biggest failure in the world. About six months later, I was back on a plane headed to Remuda. I had my aftercare plan set and I was ready to face the world.īut being home wasn’t easy. The days had turned into weeks and weeks into months.įinally, I was discharged, and filled with hope. Thanksgiving turned to Christmas, then to New Year’s Day, then Valentine’s Day, and Ash Wednesday. My initial planned discharge date came and went. But, my parents hugged me goodbye and I got on a shuttle to go meet my treatment team. When I first arrived at The Meadows Ranch, I begged my parents to take me home. Talk about the longest ride! The Many Ups and Downs of ED Little did I know, that this was the start a journey that would take me seven years to complete. My parents found The Meadows Ranch and, two weeks later, they packed me up and drove me to Wickenburg, Arizona. The therapist recommended that I seek inpatient treatment for Bulimia. I had to be hooked up to an IV because I was severely dehydrated.Īfter my time in the hospital, l I visited a therapist my mom had found for me. This was the day my life would change forever.

If I were any other patient, she would have been the Critical Care Consult called for me when I got into the ER. My mother is a critical care Nurse Practitioner. My doctor, who is friends with my mother, called her to let her know what was happening. I was pissed and freaking out! The nurse pulled out a wheelchair and asked if I was ready to stroll to the ER. After what felt like forever, she came back into the exam room and said I had to go to the Emergency Room for an EKG. My doctor made me wait in her office for my lab results. I said, “Deal,” because in my ED-controlled mind, I was fine and nothing was wrong. My doctor told me that she would sign my release, but first I had to do two things for her: Get weighed, and get my labs drawn. That was my excuse for my frequent use of bathrooms. I kept saying I was fine and that my roommate and the school had overreacted about my “test anxiety”. I ended up telling my parents, but I went to see my doctor alone. So, I headed home for winter break determined to get out of this somehow. The school decided that I would have to be evaluated by my physician and that she would have to sign a medical release before I could return to school. Soon after, they called me into the health office. My roommate was concerned and talked to one of the Resident Life staff members on campus about her concerns. Eating Disorder Warning Signsīy my sophomore year of college, I wasn’t able to hide it anymore. I have struggled with an eating disorder for most of my life. Becoming Me didn’t happen easily or quickly. I’m a flight attendant, somebody’s fiancé and, most importantly, I’m finally me. Without them, and my parent’s unwavering and often-tested support, I would not be where I am today both literally and figuratively.

Anorexia success story